Christmas in the Sun, Second Time Lucky...

Four years ago, i was planning a holiday/vacation to Thailand. I'd been in a pretty bad way for much of the year, really low. I knew that the only way for me to get myself out of it was to get the hell out of my life and just go backpacking for however long it took. It was all planned in the summer, the only thing i hadn't got round to doing was booking my ticket. The plan was to go for Christmas, i'd always wanted to go somewhere hot for chrimbo and i quite liked the idea of being away from all the bollocks that exists in every day life that seems to manifest itself the same time each year.

Anyway, shit happens. That summer i had something of a string of bad luck which, aswell as costing me money, also led me into a kind of self-pity state, blowing the rest of my cash trying to make myself feel better. Needless to say, i didn't get my ticket. Later on in the year, once i'd got my head out of my arse, some friends suggested to me to go to Australia instead after the new year, which is what i did.

On Boxing day, a tsunami hit Phuket with a number of casualties. My original plans had been to spend christmas in Phuket, for the simple reason that i liked the idea of being somewhere called "Fuck It" which as far as i was aware was the correct pronunciation!

I can't help but wonder whether, had i not had the misfortunes in the summer, if i did end up going with my original plans what would have become of me. Would i have been one of those casualties? Would i have survived it and perhaps found some purpose over there helping people rebuild the town? Who knows??? At the time i felt like it was some kind of fate, of course i realise now that it was nothing more spectacular than a coincidence. Nevertheless, i know that if everything went as planned theres a strong possibility that i wouldn't be here today to write this.

This year (tomorrow in fact) i'm off to Thailand to spend christmas there. I won't be alone, i'm going with my girlfriend and we are meeting some friends over there. But, I can't help but have this strange feeling, like i've cheated death there and now i'm going back (like Final Destination or something!). I intend to visit Phuket, if only to see the place that may have been my downfall. Of course, i'm not really worried, at least no more than anyone should be travelling to another country. Its an interesting story for me to tell, but nothing more than a coincidence.

This time tomorrow i will be on a plane on my way to a hot country to spend christmas in the sun on a beach in Ko Phangan. Honestly, i can't wait.

I wish everyone reading this a merry christmas, i'll be back in the new year.

Preaching to the Converted

We are all drawn to the things that interest us, we are all drawn to people that share the same interests and views as ourselves. As a musician, I spend a fare bit of my time online reading music forums and industry news. But there's more to me than just music..

As an atheist, I am generally interested in the subject of religion, yet there's only so much I can put up with the scaremongering that pours out from the vast majority of religious propaganda. Warnings of eternal damnation and hell-fire quickly bore me, I've heard it all before... A lot!! Yet, I seemingly never tire of hearing the same atheist arguments against science over superstition.

I don't doubt that people of any given faith find themselves in a similar situation, preferring instead to listen to a preacher of their beliefs constantly re-affirm their faith, rather than hear that “same old atheist argument” about us being related to monkeys.

On a similar note, its not uncommon for a group of weed smokers to sit around debating amongst themselves about how pot should be legal and that everyone would get on better if they were all stoned all the time. These “debates”are of course completely one-sided since invariably everybody there at the time agrees.

Herein lies the problem, much as I love listening to atheists defending our reasoning, I am already of the same opinion so in a sense these arguments are of no real consequence for me, although I still enjoy reading/watching/hearing them. If you read my blog and already share my opinions then I wonder whether it will be as thought-provoking as I hope it is. Of course, if you read this because you like my music then perhaps that's a different story.

For those of us who like to be vocal about our thoughts and share our views with the world, we need to think about our audience. Its all good and well voicing our opinions to the people that agree with us, but essentially we're just preaching to the converted. To challenge the preconceptions of those that blindly follow popular opinion, to encourage individual thought within people who may never have questioned the world around them, these are the goals I hope for here.

Music can unite people in ways that nothing else can, and once there is a mutual interest or common ground this can lead the way to healthy debates among different people with contrasting views. It doesn't have to be music, all sorts of arts, sports or hobbies can be a vehicle for discussion about anything else.

There's nothing wrong with sticking to the things you like and staying within your own (online or real world) community. But its always good to be open to different ideas, to form independent opinions based on both sides of the argument. If nothing else, you may learn something new and knowledge is always good.

Get a Job?!

In much of the "developed" world people define themselves and each other by their job. How many times have you met someone down the pub and they've asked you what you do, like your job is the perfect representation of your personality. The fact that most of us hate our jobs doesn't seem to matter.

Of course there are a number of people with careers that are important to them, a professional doctor for example should take pride in his (or her) career. I know that if i was actually earning a living from my music i would be proud to call myself a musician when asked that question. The fact that i don't earn money from my hobby for some reason seems to devalue it in terms of "what i do". Yet the reality is that musician is a better description of my personality than anything work based.

The concept of work is a major factor in our society, if someone doesn't work, and theres a lot of people that can't for one reason or another, their social status is automatically devalued. I put this down in part to jealousy as most people would rather not be doing their jobs, but a lot of the stigmas come down to that sense of worth that comes from being a part of the system. If you don't work, people assume you are some sort of layabout living on benefits paid for by the taxes of those that do work. Yet those that can't work due to physical or mental illness are often the people who actually want to contribute the most to society.

On the subject of this idea of "worth", i can't help but feel those people temping or working in factories for £6 an hour are selling themselves short. Can anyone really say that their lives are worth so little as to spend so much of their waking time doing something that they either hate or at the least have no personal attachment to. Factoring in the time involved for travelling and everything else directly associated to work the average persons life is pretty much dictated by their job. Even what little free time they have at the weekend is spent drinking and trying to achieve that feeling of release before the pressure of Monday morning.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of people end up having to sell themselves short for a low wage just to be able to pay their bills and feed their family. A life without work is not the most prosperous career, the system forces us to comply and conform here.

The real benefits are for those at the top of the social heirarchy, far more than the average person. You earn minimum wage working for some big corporation, your money gets taxed before you've even seen it, then you spend whats left on goods made by and sold by big corporations, all subject to further taxes, not to mention the interest you have to pay on your loans/credit cards and mortgages. Every single employee of a big company is nothing more than a cog in the corporate machine, moving money from one fat shareholder to the next one.

The only way to be even remotely free from this is to avoid the whole work thing altogether, get yourself some benefits (you've paid for them in taxes all these years) and go and do something worthwhile, learn about things you want to know (education is always valuable), do a bit of charity work or spend a bit of your free time doing something for the community. There are loads of voluntary organisations out there that always looking for help. There are people less fortunate than you who need help, it might not pay well but its rewarding in a different kind of way.

Money is not the most important thing in life, it will cause you more pain and suffering than it will help you. Next time someone asks you what you do for a living, ask them why it matters. Tell them what you do for fun instead. If you want to work for a living, train yourself, get a skill or a trade, find something that you want to do that pays. Ask yourself how much you think you are worth, don't settle for less.

I know that life ain't that easy, we all have to do things we don't want to do. If you really do have to work in a dead-end job, then so be it, but never stop believing that you can't improve your life. If, for whatever reason, you don't or can't work for the system, don't feel like you are any less of a person, whatever anyone says. Instead make the most of your time, because its a luxury most people can't afford.

A simple story...

Consider this situation:

You wake up in a strange town in a foreign country, you don't know how you got there or how to get out and you don't know why you are there, but nevertheless you are there and you are lost.

Out of the crowds of people (all of whom seem oblivious to your presence) a man walks up to you and tells you he knows the way you need to go. He talks passionately about this amazing place, full of beauty and perfection and says that you must follow him to find it. You ask him how he knows about this place, and he tells you he read about it and he knows deep inside of him that its there and this is the way.

So you start to think that this sounds like a good idea, you haven't got a clue where you are going and this guy seems pretty sure and confident about it.

Just as you are about to walk off with this guy, another man comes up to you and urges you to stop for a minute and think. He tells you that he has seen no evidence of this place you are heading, infact as far as he can be sure there is nothing there at all. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a map. He shows you the empty space where you are headed. He then points to the opposite direction and tells you that there is a quaint little guesthouse where you can eat and sleep, next to it there is a train station which will take you to the airport where you can fly back home.

The first man interjects, telling you that you must follow him, for his way is the only true way, and if you turn your back on him you will suffer for eternity. The second man tells you that he does not want you to make the wrong choice and gives you the map, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out several other maps which all show the same thing, he offers them to you along with a compass, a train timetable and a card with the name and number of the guesthouse on it. He asks you not to believe him because he claims to be correct but to study these items and choose for yourself which way you wish to go.

I'll cut this story off here, its fairly straightforward, what would you do next? The first man seems adamant of this perfect place he wants to take you but the second man has given you hard proof, not only of its non-existence but also showing you the way home.

This seems like a no-brainer to me. Yet, all over the world there are millions (if not billions) of people who reject proof and evidence in favour of blind faith in a mythological god. These people, when presented with the facts they need to further and better their own lives, choose to follow the first man no matter how long it takes, blindly obedient and never questioning, happy in the belief that they are heading the right way, the "true" way.

We all get lost sometimes, we all find ourselves wondering why we are here at some point in our lives. Religions offer answers without proof, science offers us evidence to make our own judgments. Our decisions and our lives should be based on facts not folklore. If you choose to follow the second man in this story, then think about your life and ask yourself whether you apply the same logic.

If you do follow a religion, ask yourself why, research the arguments for and against your faith, ask your friends what they think, ask people who don't share your belief, ask as many questions as you can and see what answers you find. Consider the facts and then ask yourself if religion is compatible with them.

In religion, blind faith may be a quality, but in the real world it pays to open your eyes.

Got it on Vinyl

As a long time music collector (and semi-retired DJ) theres something about the phrase "I've got it on vinyl" that seems to command respect. Unlike any format that has come since, the big slab of wax has a quality about it that still appeals like no other.

In this modern age of digital downloads, the concept of a record collection is practically non-existent, there is no great kudos to be earned from having an ipod full of good tunes, especially considering the ease of file-sharing and illegal downloads. Even legitimately sourced MP3s from iTunes or CDbaby lack the desirability of something you can hold, touch and look at. Legal downloads offer the listener no real advantage over illegal music, no fancy packaging, no pride of place on the shelf and none of that mystical warmth that something as basic and analog as vinyl offers.

Even CDs have a distinct advantage, sure they were (and still are) easily copied, arguably the sound quality of CDs, if played through a decent system, is superior to all other formats. But a good purchased CD comes with a nice booklet and once again sits on a shelf for all to see and admire.

Any physical format of any piece of music has an immediate advantage in that it has a finite quantity in existence, whether that be thousands or millions of copies of an album, or a limited edition picture disc or digipak, perhaps its a rare first pressing of a classic album, with a different mix or the wrong information on the packaging. All these things make a good record (and to a lesser extent) CD collection special. None of these things can be applied to digital downloads.

What would be the point of releasing a "limited edition" MP3? Its digital, it is easily replicated and has no manufacturing involved beyond that of the musical creation itself. A thousand copies of an MP3 do not exist untill it has been distributed (virtually of course) so there could be no justification in calling a digital product "limited edition". Besides which, when those thousand run out, it can almost certainly be found on PirateBay or somewhere similar. Likewise there can be no good reason to "delete" the back catalogue of an artist when it costs nothing to reproduce an album digitally and, similarly, that music would find its own illegal distribution network.

For DJs, downloading tunes from Beatport, or similar stores offers a simplicity and affordability that is great, software like Ableton Live has opened a whole world of possibilities for performance. Yet, there can be none of the coolness of having the latest tunes on white label where MP3s are concerned. Of course the flipside is that more music can be released without the limitations and costs of vinyl.

Nevertheless, owning any piece of music on vinyl continues to maintain its desirability. Even if that record is not the most convenient format for listening on. Sooner or later, CDs will dissappear from record shop shelves, especially as the quality of downloaded music will innevitably increase alongside connection speeds and storage capacities. Virtual music collections are rapidly becoming the norm, but for the genuine music collector, vinyl will continue to be held with some esteem. Limited edition 12" releases can still be sought after and treasured, and take pride of place, even with a hard drive full of tunes. Those with good record collections can still be proud to say "I've got it on vinyl".

A real blog now...

I been blogging on MySpace for a while now.

And i quite like it, seems to be a good way to get my thoughts out and a fair few people seem to like reading it, so the next logical step is to get a proper blog going on here. Ain't really got a lot to say today except if you've stumbled across this place come n check out my music over at my MySpace.

I shall start to import my existing blog over here soon and then look after them both.

Enjoy

What is karma?

Throughout my life i have met a lot of people who have proudly claimed their "belief" in karma, a philosophy that if you do good things, then good things will happen to you. In one sense this obviously good, sharing mentality could be in itself viewed as selfish, that the only motivation for "giving" is the reward, albeit indirectly, handed back by karma. This in many respects fits with human natures own tendency, as even the most altruistic of actions can be seen as being "selfish" if you consider the overall feeling of well-being as something of a reward.

It would be very cynical of me, however, to judge the generous acts of obviously nice people in such a way as selfish. For what its worth, followers of the karma principle are generally good people.

But what of the belief in some sort of mystical force that exists around us in the form of so-called karma? There can be no doubt that in our society shit things happen to good people, while good things happen to shit people. Its just the way of the world. Karma has been a bit of a twat to me over the years, and there are plenty of people far less fortunate than myself.

This isn't to say that the fundamental principle of karma should be ignored, after all there is a kind of truth in it. If i do good things to those around me, then hopefully i will find myself around other good people who will share the same ideal and in turn help me out when i need it. Likewise its always nice to know that a "favour" may one day be returned in some form of kindness.

Similarly, if my own actions can inspire someone else to follow this ideal then sure enough altruism in society will increase. If me giving you back that £5 note that just fell out of your pocket inspires you to do the same thing when you see someone else drop some money then that is in itself karma taking shape. Should this continue forever then eventually that karma spirit will eventually come back around.

Of course the reality is very different, i have found and returned several mobile phones but whenever i've lost one it has never come back to me. Not that i would change my actions, returning someone's phone is not something i do for reward but simply because i consider it the right thing to do.

Ultimately though, i see no sense to "believe" in karma, even though i follow the principles of it. It comes with atheism, not just a disbelief in God but indeed any sort of superstition. The fact is that we are all just people living our own lives and there is no unseen force deciding our fate. Adopting a policy of following karma will not in itself bring us good fortune, but living a good life can be of benefit to us and those around us. Selfish acts will continue to be rewarded in shallow materialistic ways but selfless acts will reward us in ways that can not be so easily defined.

There is no need to imagine any sort of mystical force in order to justify or explain our actions, especially when those actions are inherently good. We dont need to believe in karma to be nice to each other, we can just do it because its right.

US Election - time for change?

Politically speaking, today is arguably the most important day of the year, and i suspect will go down as one of the most important days in American history.

As a British citizen, i have no say in this of course, but that does not mean that Britain, or for that matter the rest of the world, is going to be unaffected by the outcome of today. It seems pretty certain that Obama is going to be the next US president, and i sincerely hope that he will be one of the good ones.

How much of an influence the president actually has on America or the world is debatable, the last 8 years have shown that an idiot can stand up in front of the world and claim to have ultimate control over the worlds greatest superpower. Somehow, i doubt that is the case (although i suspect that Bush Snr is far more influential). Whatever happens behind the scenes, there is no doubt in my mind, or anyone else's that i know, that Obama would be a huge improvement over either Bush.

Just a short post from me today, nothing too heavy. For now I'm keeping my fingers crossed that today is the start of a new era of American politics, an era of change and hope for the future.

The Utopian Dream

I'd always thought it was some sort of fantasy, a world of peace without religion or money. Take away the two greatest evils of our society and there would be no poverty, war, greed or any of the other crap that dominates the world. The idea itself seems too good to be true. Surely the greatest Utopia imaginable.

Last night i watched Zeitgeist: Addendum, the sequel to the excellent documentary Zeitgeist: The Movie, both can be viewed here. While the first installment is a compelling film based largely around conspiracy theories, the new one shows how messed up the monetary system is and how a world without money is not only preferable but actually possible.

Technology rules our world, technology can be anything created by mankind to make our lives easier, whether that be a humble bicycle or a jet plane, a pen and paper or a computer, a catapult or an atom bomb. As technology advances, the need for humans in the workplace diminishes, the corporations always eager for increased profits can make more money by cutting staff and replacing them with machines. But it stands to reason that as jobs are cut there will be less workers earning money to spend on the things that these machines are now making.

So how could a money free society actually work? Well, i cant even begin to explain it anywhere near as well as the film does so i would suggest watching it, but to put it simply, in a world without money people would no longer be slaves to the financial system. People would not have to do crap jobs because the machines could do it, no-one would be losing out because there would be nothing to lose.

Given the freedom to live our lives as we choose, would we not all want to work together to make our world better, to improve our societies and our collective knowledge. Remember that in our capitalist society, we are forced to look out for ourselves first, after work we have little time or effort to worry about the community or those less fortunate than ourselves. The fact that the only way to help in our world is by donating our time or our money makes the proposition seem quite unappealing, but if money was no issue and our time was not wasted trying to just make ends meet then surely many of us would want to help.

Putting it like this it still seems like a fantasy, every aspect of our capitalist society is based around greed, power and corruption, that anything else seems impossible. Maybe it is, the power of money (and religion) is so huge that its hard to even imagine how a Utopia like i have just described could come to exist.

The Venus Project could be the answer, it could be the great hope for world peace and a better way of life. Of course, it needs support, ironically much of that support is financial but that is the way of the world right now, and it needs time but surely its worth it.

If you haven't already, please check out both Zeitgeist movies and try to think about the world differently to the way we have become accustomed to thinking. Then ask yourself "what can i do?".

Genres And Categories

Whenever i talk about my music, i'm forever being asked to define it in some sort of narrow bracket. I guess everyone likes to categorize things, especially where music is concerned.

In my case though i generally think its not that easy, i'm sure it has something to do with my own perception of my music and the fact that i genuinely don't want to fit into any category but i really dont think that my music fits into one. Sure, i can call it Electronica, aside from being a slightly pretentious sounding American term it probably fits my style better than anything else through simply being vague. Breakbeat is another label that kinda fits my stuff but in many ways this kinda implies that its like all the other Breakbeat/Nu Skool Breakz stuff that forms a well-defined genre in itself these days. For my third category here on MySpace i have struggled to choose between Industrial, IDM and Experimental yet none of these fit perfectly as i think they all suggest different things (and for some reason MySpace wont let me change it anyway). Other sites i have found ask for just one or two genres, which makes it even more difficult for me.

Of course i understand why these labels have to be here, it makes it a lot easier to find something if you narrow your search down to criteria such as genre, the internet is a very big place. But in day to day life it kind of annoys me the way i have to try to explain my sound instead of being able to say something simple like "i make dubstep". No disrespect to those that make music to fit one genre, but that idea just bores me now.

This whole thing with genres and categories happens everywhere in life. Kids express their "individuality" by dressing the same as their peers and idols then call themselves Emos or Chavs or whatever they wanna be known as. TV, film and literature again have categories, yet its the films or books that aren't so easy to define which (in my opinion at least) stand out from all the generic crap. Not to forget all the other categories people are (usually) born into like class, race, religion etc.

It seems that no matter how different or individual people like to perceive themselves as being, we all have a tendency to want to belong, to want some sort of order in our lives. Liking one particular genre of music over another helps us to create an identity for ourselves, its gives us a common interest with other people of similar tastes, it helps us decide the sort of clubs we want to go to or the forums we visit online, it helps us to predict whether we like an artist based on whether they make music that fits a genre we like. The problem is that it creates a sort of exclusion for anything else that doesnt fit. And that makes it harder to break away ourselves so we end up sticking to one thing.

The conclusion i've come to in myself is to be more open-minded in my tastes and to be less restricted in the music i make. I know i'm not alone in thinking like this, there are many others like me, its just there really isn't a simple label for people like us.

Its been a while....

I haven't really posted anything for a while, except of course to mention the release of Prelude which you should download if you haven't already. Its not that i have become any less opinionated of late cos i haven't, its just really been a matter of finding the time to sit down and have a bit of rant about the world or the weather!

For what its worth i've been quite busy. Promoting this EP has taken up a lot of my spare time and i'm still trying to get some new material together. Actually this is all a bit of a learning curve for me. Simply sticking some tunes up on the various sites is clearly not enough and directing people to them is not as easy as i'd hope. I guess i make this all more difficult for myself by trying to be a little different in the music i make. Avoiding genres makes it hard to define my tunes in anything but the vaguest of ways, it also makes it harder to find a specific audience. But it seems that i've had some good feedback which always helps.

Well, theres not really a lot more for me to say right now so i will finish by saying thanks to everyone that has downloaded Prelude, i sincerely hope that you enjoy it. I'll be back posting more of my own thoughts about stuff very soon.

Prelude EP - Available for free download

Well, it took me a bit longer than i'd planned to get it finished but here it is. Prelude represents where Infected Minds is now at the end of the summer 2008. Four instrumentals that may or may not get reworked into vocal tunes for the forthcoming album. Its a rough mix but I hope that everyone enjoys it as it is.

The tracklisting is:
1 - So Long
2 - Black and White
3 - Utopian
4 - Morning Sun

Some of these tunes have been remixed and reworked since the early demo versions that have previously been up on Myspace.

Anyway, Prelude can be downloaded or streamed from:

Jamendo (MP3, 192kbps VBR or Ogg Vorbis formats)
ReverbNation (MP3, 192kbps VBR)
Last.FM (MP3, 128kbps)
Soundclick (MP3, 128kbps)
iLike (MP3, 320kbps)

I will also be adding these tracks to the MySpace player although we all know what sort of quality (or lack of) we can expect there.

I will put more links up here as i get round to them.

The Quest For Perfection

What is perfect? Is it something that can be easily defined? A series of checkboxes that once ticked will attain the ideal status of perfection.

Nobody's life is entirely perfect, it could be that someone is stuck in a dead-end job struggling to pay bills, perhaps they are alone and unhappy, or their health is far from ideal, or they simply just don't like the way they look (and while we are at it, lets not forget the billions of people in this world that live and suffer in poverty). There are so many ideas of perfection that persist in our society, all of which exclude the vast majority, and when combined exclude everyone.

In some respects, the pursuit of perfection can be a good thing. Like an artist spending his or her life trying to create that masterpiece, or the idealist dedicating his or her life to achieving a world of equality. But at what price does perfection come?

Pedigree dog breeders spend much of their lives trying to breed the perfect dog, according to a set of rules that define perfection explicitly. Whether it be the practically non-existent nose of a pug, the stumpy little legs of a dachshund or the frankly offensively named furnishings (loose wrinkly skin) of a bassett hound or many other similar breeds. In their quest for the perfect dog, breeders have brought about all sorts of health issues for these animals, unsurprisingly including breathing problems and mobility problems alongside hundreds of other common canine ailments. Yet, in the world of dog shows perfection is defined purely cosmetically, the way the animal looks when compared against this ideal is the only significant factor, whether that be to the detriment of its health or not. It is a sad fact that many perfectly healthy dogs are put to sleep (killed!!) simply because they do not look "right".

The idea of perfection as a rulebook prevails in many other places. The perfect pop song will feature a verse-chorus-verse structure, a common predictable chord progression and lyrics about joy and love. The perfect movie will have action, special effects, a love interest and an able-bodied good looking male hero. While these perfect songs and films will often be successful and top charts most would agree that they are, ultimately, shallow and forgettable. While the true classics are those that dare to be different.

This brings us back to our own perceptions of ourselves and our world. While we continue to judge each other and ourselves in relation to that which we believe to be perfect we can never be completely satisfied. Instead we should marvel at the wealth of diversity that exists in the world around us, we should see that it is these imperfections that ultimately make us who we are and we should learn to redifine what it is that we consider to be perfect.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to improve, but we need to understand the true costs. We need to realise that true happiness does not come from changing ourselves to fit with some mythical construct of perfection, but instead from changing the way we perceive ourselves and each other. There is no such thing as "perfect", none of us will ever be "perfect". We can only be the best that we can be. Surely thats good enough.

Which truth to believe? Some thoughts on conspiracies

I dont wish to get into all the conspiracy theories here, that is a matter of debate in itself and, unfortunately, to many people the apparent absurdity of certain aspects of some theories can devalue the fundamental point about not believing everything we are told to believe. For the record there are a number of good videos on youtube or similar sites providing compelling evidence that the "government" has lied to us about a great number of things in order to slowly create an orwellian dystopian state. I personally dont believe everything i see, and am fully aware of the power of misinformation in EVERY aspect of the media, but it certainly is worth researching this subject, with a film called Zeitgeist - The Movie being an essential introduction to Conspiracies and some of the many lies perpetrated throughout history and even to this day.

The question still exists, is there really any truth in these theories?

Well, anybody who believes everything they are told in the media is obviously a fool, tabloid newspapers clearly have an agenda and motivation to lie/distort the truth. Surely this is common knowledge. But theres a difference between sensationalist headlines designed to sell papers and increase profits, and the sort of lies the governments are alleged to have spun for years/decades/centuries.

Is it really plausible that 9/11 was orchestrated by some highly influential families pulling the strings behind the US government? Surely the fact that an idiot like George W is "in charge" is suspect enough. Those attacks were clearly a good motivation for war and the gradual removal of a great number of our civil liberties. Inside job or not, 9/11 has been used to the governments advantage ever since. In the last decade we have been fed anti-Islamic propaganda on many levels while lately the public opinion of China's communist state has become a popular subject in the media, reminding us how lucky we are to have our own (ever-dwindling) freedoms. Is the timing of the olympics really a coincidence?

Religion, of course, is a major part of all good conspiracy theories, and for good reason. Alongside money (the other great evil of the world) religion is historically the most powerful tool ever conceived for controlling the masses. Religion has encouraged both love and hatred equally, forgiveness and intolerance are both huge factors in all the worlds great monotheistic religions. The contradictions are obvious. All based around the fundamental questions of what happens to us after we die and why we are even here in the first place. God's name is used to justify so many human actions both good and bad, which coupled with his alleged ultimate power over us for eternity means that for a significant proportion of the worlds population, the fear of disagreeing with God's word is so great that the only conceivable option is to comply. The fact that religion is "inherited" and thrust upon the impressionable minds of children makes the brainwashing even easier.

Regardless of whether there is any real truth in spiritualty of any sort, anyone with half a brain should be able to see the dangers of organised religion.

So do the government/illuminati/bankers really benefit from creating these lies and controlling us in this way? Well if they are lying, it seems to be working, the rich and powerful get richer and more powerful while the majority of us remain poor and apathetic. The mainstream media continue to shape our opinions of the world and the conspiracies remain underground and, suspiciously, censored or deleted where possible.

Somewhere between the extremes the real truth exists, it is only through an awareness of all the different viewpoints that we can begin to see it and make our own decisions and, if the time comes, we can be prepared for the worse.

Say what you like, like what you say!

Nobody can truthfully say they have lived a life without regrets, but as mature adults we can accept responsibility for our actions and learn from our mistakes. In the real world memories fade and life goes on but online we leave behind a (near) permanent record of our every virtual movement. We post our thoughts and feelings on blogs, forums, chatrooms etc and communicate in ways that we never could in the real world, confident in the anonymity of a non-face-to-face medium.

And then sometimes, we look back at what we said and wish we hadn't, perhaps we have dropped our reserve and said something that could compromise our carefully constructed image or maybe we have let rip about something we feel strongly about but normally bite our lips rather than risk offending people. Who hasn't woken up hungover and thought "did i really do that?"

But, when it comes to talking about the things that matter to you there should be no regrets, if you have strong opinions on certain subjects it is only right to express those opinions regardless of whether everyone agrees with them. It is through challenging the ideas and norms that circulate within our society that our culture and collective knowledge evolves.

Take my own opinions on religion for example, should anybody really be offended by anything i post when the underlying message is that of tolerance and respect? Yet, all over the internet we find (religious and non-religious) examples of bigotry, hatred and ignorance. Surely no-one can truly take offense to me. So i will continue to post my thoughts on the things that matter to me, and if that means i lose a few potential fans, well i guess they don't understand my music fully anyway.

I encourage everyone to take pride in themselves and what they have to say. If your opinions matter to you then they will surely matter to the people that know you, perhaps you could be the one to spark the next big debate. Perhaps your (real or virtual) voice will help to sow the seeds of change. Its all too easy to be apathetic and quietly accept things, but in this era of the www its really not hard to speak up and be heard.

The internet provides us with the closest thing to free speech that exists in this world, unfortunately that freedom means not everyone will like everything that gets said but we have to accept that and exercise our freedom to challenge that which is wrong. Then, maybe, we can move toward a better world.

I hate this weather

What a shit state this country is in. Fuel is more expensive than ever, food prices are rising, the cost of living is getting higher all the time, all the while the value of the things we own is diminishing rapidly. On top of that we have a government led by a man who has hardly endeared himself to the public. The only thing we have to look forward to is our basic human right to a bit of sunshine in the summer.

Fat chance of that then. As if we dont have to put up with long enough winters in this country the general state of the last summer and this one so far has led me to feel like we are stuck in some sort of perpetual state of misery. Grey is the colour of our lives it seems.

The problem is that we endure the wet and cold for months on end, always looking forward to that little bit of release we get when it all gets a little bit nicer and we chill out in the park, go to a few festies and free parties and actually enjoy our lives for a couple of months before it all gets horrible again.

What happens when that release never comes? We are all imprisoned in some sort of nightmare world of grey. The tensions start to show everywhere around us. Sure, its a very British thing to endure the weather, thats one thing that defines our nation but it doesnt mean we have to like it. They say the eskimos have hundreds of different words for snow. How many different words do we have for rain? Drizzle, spitting, pissing/chucking/bucketing it down, raining cats and dogs, theres a whole lot more that we probably all make up as we go along.

We all like to moan about the weather in this country, thats because its shit and its controls our lives more than any government or corporation ever could. Surely all this rain can not be good for our spirits, i know its not good for me. Once again, i feel like the rest of the world are laughing at us and our pathetic little wet empire. And we sent our criminals over to Australia! Fucking genius!!! How happy are they over there? Its bloody winter in Oz and its probably still nicer there.

Well, i guess i shouldn't forget that its all our fault. Carbon emissions, climate change, we brought this upon ourselves. Is it too late? Who knows or cares anymore? All this misery breeds apathy. I suppose we can hope for a white christmas, but i have a sneaky suspicion that it will be wet and grey.

The future's dull, the future's grey. Accept it!!

Arsehole Security At Festivals

I understand that the moral majority with their ignorant lives find it hard to understand youth culture. I understand that for many the idea of 15000 people getting wrecked in a field listening to loud repetitive beats is such an alien concept that it may actually appear threatening or dangerous. I understand that for the neighbouring villages of large outdoor music events the increased traffic and noise can probably be considered a disturbance.

I can understand these viewpoints, but that doesnt mean to say i think they are right. When an event costs £125 a ticket, its fair to expect a certain amount of freedom, after all decent people go to these places to enjoy themselves, to get away from the endless monotony of day to day life. In this particular case i am referring to Glade Festival but this could apply to any number of similar events.

What i find hard to understand is the logic that security at this festival need to be as bad as they are. Upon arriving at the site we were engulfed by a gang acting like hustlers clearly intent on trying to see what they could confiscate. The fact that we ended up haggling over how much of our beer they were going to take only made the whole situation even worse. I use the word "gang" here intentionally because thats exactly how they behaved, not like the reasonable responsible agents of the law they are surely meant to be.

So what kind of logic goes into this decision? I know its not the organisers idea to employ these wannabe thugs, they know as well as we do that the best people for the job are the sort of people that attend these events. Clearly some sort of authority has decided that tougher security is required. I just cannot understand how anyone smart enough to be in a position of authority could really think that security like that should placed in such a role.

Worse still, though was the sheer number of security guards wandering around the place Saturday night, no doubt looking to see what else they could confiscate and how much force they could use in the process. All those hi-vis jackets (once a classic piece of raving attire) create a real feeling of tension and paranoia at the event.

Well, clearly at festies, clubs, free-parties etc there is a lot of activities that are (unfairly and wrongly) illegal. I'm not going to get into a discussion about the law here. But the powers at be make a lot of money out of taxes and licenses through these events, even (albiet indirectly) through free-parties, so they are in no great hurry to stop them happening. But by treating us this way, the message is clear:

WHAT WE ARE DOING IS ILLEGAL AND WRONG!!!!

These thugs are employed for one real purpose, to try and spoil our weekends. They are there to remind us that the system is more powerful than us, that we must ultimately conform and that the few pleasures we allow ourselves to indulge in should be avoided in order to fit in with society and the system.

Every time a free-party gets shut down, every time another noise restriction gets put in place, every time another mind-enhancing substance gets criminalized, we are reminded that we are the outcasts, the outlaws. Freedom only really exists for those that do not want us to be free.

However, we can still challenge the system, many of us do every day in our own little way. Morality is the only law that really matters in this world and i know myself and many people like me are on the right side of it.

Internet Privacy... Or Lack Of

Funny, just as i was feeling like i wanted to talk about this subject i couldn't help but notice MySpace's disclaimer here:

Warning - Please be aware that MySpace is accessed by thousands of users every day; since you do not know every user on the MySpace site, excercise caution when posting personally identifiable information.

In light of recent events this warning could not be more important. I'm talking about the recent court ruling in favour of the TV corporation Viacom having access to all of YouTube's information regarding what EVERY user has viewed, and their IP addresses.

So basically if you have used YouTube to watch an illegally uploaded recording of a TV show or movie then they will know about it. Whether you will be prosecuted is highly unlikely (unless you were the one who uploaded it in the first place), but you may well find yourself, or your computer at least, on some sort of database of unlawful viewers.

The reality, as far as i can see, is that in this one case alone we dont have any real worry about anything on an individual level. What is of serious concern is the blatant abuse of our rights that is the result of this ruling. This is surely the first stage in what could well become a Big Brother situation whereby we have no privacy online. If our every virtual movement is logged and can be seen by anyone with the appropriate power (governments, corporations etc) then can we ever be truly free online?

I dread to think how many different databases have my details, think about forums, shops, mailing lists, even MySpace itself. So many organisations know my name, address, date of birth, answers to secret questions etc. The whole world potentially can find out my opinions on stuff just by reading these blogs or other forum posts. I've always been careful not to incriminate myself because every word i type into these sites could well form a permanent record of my life.

There are a lot of people oblivious to this though, social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook are used as a means for people to record their life for anyone to see. We are told that we should be careful, after all there are all manner of undesirables online that prey on potential victims through sites like this. What we are not told is that these undesirables could very well include governments and corporations.

If this latest ruling is anything to go by, we could find that in the future our privacy online will become practically non-existent.

On a similar note there are more and more people being prosecuted or at the very least receiving warnings for filesharing. Without wanting to get into a discussion about the morality of filesharing, again i can only see that there is a point when the privacy of the individual becomes compromised, and for many it already has.

So what can we do? I'm sure, if there isn't already, there will be a number of online petitions against this ruling however "signing" one of these is just another case of putting yourself on a database. Lets not forget how anti-terrorism laws are being created all the time solely to deny the people the right to protest. By no means am i suggesting we should passively sit here in silence, i would encourage anyone who has a view on this subject to make it known. If there are petitions, make sure you know fully what you are signing.

Search Google for more information, after all this stems from a lawsuit AGAINST Google. Most importantly think before you type, especially on here and Facebook. There are a lot of good, honest people whose lives are not entirely legit, there are a great number of laws that are unfair and do not serve the public. The internet is built upon free speech, by no means should we let this ruling become a form of censorship, but we do need to be smart. Big business has become threatened by the shift in balance the internet has given the people. Money is all-powerful, but the world is changing, the music and film industries are changing. The outcome of these changes is, as yet, unknown but the corporations won't go down without a fight.

Maybe i have just incriminated myself with this blog, but i refuse to sit here in silence, i can however choose which words i use.

Good Old Days of Underdog

Over the last week or so i have seen some old friends, more than just friends, some of the old Underdog Kru. Its been so long since we were out with the rig, a part of me really misses that. I know we all have to move on but those were some great times, and they were some great friends. Seeing how everyone has grown since then makes me feel warm to know that some of that spirit is still alive in all of us.

I can't party like i used to anymore, i cant afford to and i'm not sure my body could take it anyway. It was good while it lasted though. Sometimes i wonder whether i could ever reunite Underdog, though without a rig it wouldn't be the same and it wouldnt be right without all the kru. I guess things have changed too much since then.

Still, i've got my memories (what i can remember of them!) and its always good to see everyone doing well. Maybe one day....

Peace n love to the Underdog Kru:
Kelly, Marc, Sheepy, Si & Static (and everyone else who helped).

Pissed off about playin a shit set last night

I dont really DJ much these days. I pretty much gave it up almost 4 years ago. But i got a set at Outbreak @ Timbuk2 in Bristol last month and it was good. Everyone was into it, i played loads of old classics (DnB), and i was enjoying hearing those tunes again as much as everyone else.

Last night tho was a different story, nobody gave a shit. The room i played in was dead all night and the vibe in the club weren't to good either. Basically i couldnt be arsed to play anyway and i couldnt wait to get off the decks and out of the club.

Just makes me think that DJing an old Blackout set now n again can be fun but i really dont wanna make a habit of it. I aint bought any tunes for years and i aint really bothered whether i play out or not. So i dont think i'll be in any hurry to DJ there again. Once was enough for me, maybe i'll av a go again next year or something but thats it for now.

Moving on from Drum n Bass

Not that long ago i used to love drum n bass, i practically lived for it. Anyone that remembers Underdog will know how passionate i was about the music then. I suppose a lot of shit went on at the time that made me want to step away from that scene. It doesn't help that now as i get older i see more and more youngsters at DnB nights and increasingly less of my older friends.

I'm sure the kids that are into it now really enjoy it and i don't wanna sound like some old fart when i say "Its not as good as it used to be" but it really aint. Like all genres there are high points and low points. When i was doing Underdog from around 99-04 DnB went through quite a change. Tech-step started to get more inventive and interesting, producers started mixing their influences into the tunes and there was a lot of real creativity, the whole genre became varied and interesting.

Right now, all i hear in DnB is the same shit as the next tune. Its all so formulaic, same beats, same basslines, same sounds. Theres hardly any real innovation in DnB right now and that bores me. My tastes have always been varied, i grew up on heavy metal and i think theres so much scope within electronic music to really push back boundaries. Problem is these boundaries are so fixed in place thats its really quite hard to break em. Every genre has its own tempo and its own definitive formula for what works. DnB isn't alone here.

So where does that leave those artists that want to make something original? How can anyone really try to be different when each every scene encourages the artists to be the same? Its that which perpetuates the steady fall in quality that has become so evident within DnB. Where a few years ago, producers tried something different in their music, those ideas have become the standard and now its all the same again.

Pendulum are trying something different now, like em or hate em you have to give credit for that, but it seems like they've been cast out of the DnB scene. No surprise when you consider that the biggest names in DnB are the same DJs who were around 10-15 years ago, hardly cutting edge.

Infact, i think thats where a lot of the problem lies. The scene has been manufactured in such a way that the select few who were there at the beginning are the ones that are at the top now. Still the big names on a flyer, these are the ones getting the respect for playing tunes made by the lesser-known producers. The old boys are the ones charging top-dollar to do something anyone with a pair of decks can do (often better). The whole dubplate culture perpetuates this heirarchy even more.

No wonder then that a lot of people are moving towards dubstep now, buts thats just another genre with own set of developing rules, dubstep will have its time, there will be a commercial point and everyone will hate it and probably go back to DnB, and so the cycle continues.

The point i'm getting at is that drum n bass, like any genre is ultimately going to be restrictive. A killer tune has to fit within a given set of rules in order to work. The tempo has to be the same in order to mix it with any other DnB tune. All that really matters is the drop anyway, the rest of the tune is just filler.

All of this is why i feel so disillusioned with drum n bass right now. I still enjoy the tunes i used to love, the classics. But right now i'm far more excited by the vast wealth of good music that exists outside of that scene. In this day and age of the internet theres no need for something as closed as the DnB scene to dictate to me, you or anyone whats good and whats not.

electronic artists that just use loops.

I posted this in a forum discussion about whether people that just used loops can be called musicians, i try to avoid using them myself but a lot of artists use them extensively:

Theres a number of so-called "producers" that make tunes using predominantly loops, samples and downloaded midi data, often their tunes ultimately sound unfinished. Its clear to me why that is, those electronic musicians that put more into their compositions also put more into their production. Sculpting a tune from start to finish is not a simple task so cutting corners at any point will effect the quality of the end product.

That said tho, sampled beats are still commonplace and anyone who uses an amen break does so because they want that sound. On top of that a lot can be achieved by chopping beats up, mangling and generally fucking around with em to the point where they barely resemble the original recording. Also many genres of dance music are defined by their beat, anyone wanting to make tunes that fit that style might aswell just use a loop. Personally, i get great satisfaction out of creating my own beats but i often like to layer up some drumloops behind it. but then i dont like to make tunes to fit a genre.

As for collage artists then yes, you should give credit to their work, but a great deal of their talents come from finding the most obscure sounds/beats rather than picking up the latest time+space cd and creating a generic house/dnb/dubstep/whatever tune.

What about presets? I'm not gonna deny i've used a few of them with very little tweaking, however layering some preset pads from an obscure freeware vst or using an already perfect string sound in your sampler is different to building a tune in reason using only the factory soundbank.

Most rock/pop music tends to use the same 1-4-5 chord progressions, is that really that far different from using loops? Most dance music sounds similar to everything else within its own genre whether based on loops or not. A large number of respected musicians owe much of their sound to their (largely uncredited and therefore unrecognised) engineer, while many others simply rehash the same formula over and over and call it a new tune each time.

No disrespect to those that can make good music based around loops, personally i feel more original when i know i've made it all myself.

Mixing opinions with music...

How many great artists have avoided politics within their music, instead focusing on the fun side of life? Quite a lot. Sure theres been a fair few great political bands, but theres a lack of it within the electronic world. Dance music is ultimately disposable, its great while you are on the dancefloor, a good tune should lift your mood for five minutes or until the DJ gets bored and brings in the next tune.

At the moment the few tunes i have are still in an instrumental form, but these are really just demos, as such unfinished. Ultimately i hope to actually say something with my music. These random blog posts are really a different way of expressing what i want to say.

Problem is in saying things that might be controversial. Sure, i've got a bit of a problem with religion, but then i've also got a problem with anything that encourages prejudice and hatred and the way i see it the major religions all do that in some way. That doesn't mean i hate religious people, i take everyone on their own merits. If someone has a spiritual belief i disagree with that doesn't make them any less of a person in my book, like i said i dont like prejudice and hatred.

We all need to be prepared to have our ideas about the world challenged if our society is going to "evolve". I might not agree with you on everything, but i can respect that you have your own opinion provided it is just that, your own. Not just an idea you have been told and believe unquestioningly.

I don't really feel like typing any more today. I just hope that people aren't put off my music by the things i post here, infact i hope that when its all finally put together it will all make sense.

Shitty Internet Explorer

So, i've bin somewhat neglecting my myspace for a while now. Probably got something to do with the time i had the misfortune to be using internet explorer for some web boredom. what the fuck is wrong with my page on it? All the colours are the wrong way round, black n white negatives and shit!!!! The transparency is all wrong too.

Internet explorer is shit! I dont wanna get all techy geeky about this but its true, the fact that the vast majority of people suffer this browser on a day to day basis is a real shame. I dare say that a number of people are unaware of the alternatives (i wont bother mentioning Safari beyond this point cos Macs are a completely different subject that i may well complain about another day).

At the risk of sounding like i'm after some kind of sponsorship deal i have to emphasise how great a program firefox is. Fully customaizable, and 10 times more secure. But thats enough blatant plugging.

I cant help but feel the problem is to do with the shitty commercial capitalist nature of society. By some degree of laziness and ignorance the really good quality programs get ignored in favour of the "industry standard" corporate crap fed to us by the likes of Microsoft and a load of equally bad companies. Firefox is a perfect example of a FREE program that is ignored by the masses happy to have there day-to-day choices decided for them by the establishment. How many of you lot have got Norton on your PC? Another piece of shit commercial application, that not only drains a big chunk of your CPU but can replaced by better quality FREE alternatives.

Theres another attitude that exists aswell, if its free it must be crap! Like the quality of something directly relates to its price. Or worse still, if you aint heard of it it must be crap, like the advertisers never lie!! Lurking behind all the corporate bullshit that dominates the www, there is a massive community of people that make programs and share programs freely, simply because they want to. I'm not talking about cracked copies of overpriced software on piratebay. Im talking about genuine free stuff, made by people who do it for the love. Heres another good site for free bits of techiness: snapfiles

Enough of this advertising on my part, not that i get anything out of this except the pleasure of possibly making someones internet experience better. My point being that we shouldnt just settle for the crap thats fed to us by the corporate industry, the internet offers a place for everyone to be free of that shit, and its not hard to find. Free software is only a small part of this, look at all the good music people are sharing happily online without the all the bullshit of the music biz.

This aint a "Fuck the Establishment" rant, just a little encouragement for people to delve a little deeper online and see whats going on behind the scenes, cos thats where the best stuff is.

atheism vs religion

(I posted this on a forum earlier, figure i'd share it here.)

A lot of (mostly religious) people have the idea that an atheist follows some kind of Godless belief system, that there is some kind of rule book for atheism and therefore liken it to religion. This is completely untrue. The fact is there is simply no significant proof for the existence of God. However, there is sufficient scientific proof that the "word of God" aka the Bible is false, most notably the theory of evolution by natural selection and the fact that the Earth is billions of years old. Scientific advancements constantly disprove the Bible and, indeed, any other form of religious/spiritual literature of considerable age.

As an atheist i do not "believe there is no God", instead i believe that science will, in time, offer the answer to everything including the existence of any sort of "divine" being/creator. Until such time as God's existence can be proven through scientific means i can only adopt the stance that He is a fictitious character created by man to fulfill certain roles within society, most obviously to control the lower classes primarily through fear, whilst similarly catering for mankind's own spiritual confusion arising from our high level of consciousness and self-awareness.

People of strong religious belief have their lives essentially dictated by their religion, codes of morality based upon ancient texts that bear little relevance to todays society. The way these people live their lives is based not on enriching their short period of existence, but preparing for an uncertain and unproven afterlife, the fate of which lies in the hands of one vengeful (and really quite unpleasant) deity. The "will of God" becomes the highest priority in life, while the good of humanity only exists within the confines of God's own narrow set of rules.

An atheist is free to make decisions for himself based upon the knowledge that the only definite consequences of his actions are physical and that the only real reward/punishment he can face will be experienced within his life. An atheist is free to adopt a moral code based upon the realities of life and the society in which he exists, he can therefore lead a good life because he wants to, as opposed to being in fear of divine judgement. Most importantly, an atheist is an individual, free to use reason and rational thinking in every aspect of his life while accepting full responsiblity for his actions.

Being an atheist does not mean that one cannot be open to new experiences, whether spiritual or physical, however an atheist is rational enough to know that we do not need to invent God to explain those things that we do not yet fully understand.

Ultimately, unlike religion, atheism is not a "belief system". Instead, atheism is simply a rational way of thinking, as opposed to blind faith in unproven and highly doubtful myths which have little place in an intelligent and reasonable society.

Finally, i got myself a MySpace....

Its a few years too late, i know. Its all about Facebook now, so i'm told. I've never really gotten into this whole networking site thing, if i want to meet people i'll go out. But then i don't really do that too much these days, oh the joys of being skint. I didnt really wanna be another guy with a MySpace doing fuck all with it, and seeing as i didn't really have anything i wanted to show the world till now i didnt see the point.

Anyway, things are a bit different since the old days of Underdog. Take a listen to my music now and compare it to the free-party vibe from before. Quite a contrast, innit? I guess i'm getting older and mellowing out nowadays.

I'm just fed up of this whole genres thing. If you wanna make drum n bass you gotta follow the same formula as every other producer out there, its gotta be the same speed, its gotta have the same kinda beats and breakdowns and all that shit. Where's the originality in that? Its all immitation. Spending £6 a time on a tune that sounds a lot like the last one you bought, only to play it out a couple of times before it gets put to the back of the pile in favour of another tune that sounds just like it. I cant afford nor can i be bothered to get caught up in this whole DJ thing anymore.

I still like DnB, dont get me wrong, but lets be honest here, most of the tunes coming out at the moment are a bit shit really. Maybe i'm starting to talk like an old man now, but it just aint as good as it used to be.

Anyway, i cant be arsed to type anymore right now, all this was supposed to be was me saying hello and i've gone off on a bit of a rant already. I hope you like the tunes i've put up so far, theres a bit of an eighties vibe in there, but i dont care, i like it.

Later.